Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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