I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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