You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
