We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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