You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
