An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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