You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
