note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
