but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
