Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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