Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
