We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
