I'm jealous of your bromance
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
