At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
