Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
