Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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