I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize