Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
