Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
