Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
