Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
