Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
