omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize