I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
