I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
