He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I will pee on everything he values.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
God, I missed his penis.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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