Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've blown a few things in my day
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
