All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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