There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize