the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
