there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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