In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
do herpes really smell.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
