I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
