is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
