No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
