I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
