Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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