I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
