So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she smelled like a LAN party
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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