He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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