having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
