I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
