I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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