Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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