trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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