maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
