Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
