u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
