He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
