He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
