Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
