her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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