the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she smelled like a LAN party
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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