I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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