I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this just has baby written all over it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
