is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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