I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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