Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
