I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
