youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
