I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
